How to kill a sparkling emo vampire
by AtticusPotter
Summary: Oneshot: The Ministry Six, Dresden and Co. and O'Sullivan and Friends end the twilight threat forever


Harry Potter was enjoying his lunch in the Great Hall one day. Professor McGonagall came to him and told him "The Headmaster would like to see you after lunch, Potter. Bring Misses Weasley, Lovegood, and Granger and Misters Weasley, all of them, and Mister Longbottom with you. "Ok, Professor."

Harry, Hermione, Ron, Fred, George, Neville and Luna go to the Headmaster's door. "Acid pops," said Harry. The gargoyle jumped aside and the group ascended the stairs to the Headmaster's office. "Come in" came a voice from within.

Sitting at his desk was Albus Dumbledore, the Headmaster of Hogwarts. Around his desk were five other people. Three of them were grown men over six feet tall. Two of the men had black hair, much like Harry's own. The other man had curly red hair and a sword strapped to his back. The other two people were female, one blonde and the other a redhead. Both women were on the short side.

"Good, you're all here. I would like to introduce you all to these fine gentlemen and ladies." Dumbledore pointed to the man with the black trench coat. The man turned around and Dumbledore said: "This is Harry Dresden from the city of Chicago, in the States." "Hey." By now, the other people had turned around, "This is Atticus O'Sullivan is from Arizona, again in the States, Karrin Murphey, Dresden's partner, Owen Kennedy, Mr. O'Sullivan's mentor, and friend. Finally, we have Granuaile MacTiernen, another of Mr. O'Sullivan's friends. Mr. Dresden is a wizard, but not in the sense that we think of it."

"I use a blasting rod, a staff, a shield bracelet, and a force ring."

Atticus said "My friends and I are the last of the Ancient Druids. We are older than Whiskers over there, " jerking his thumb at Dumbledore. "I personally am over two thousand years old. Owen here is even older. Granuaile is over a thousand."

"Now, everyone, we have a problem that affects the entire world. A vampire by the name of Edward Cullen wants to take over Hogwarts. Harry, the DA is not experienced enough to handle him, so I called in these fine people before you. Cullen has many others behind him, mainly brainwashed fangirls that are about your age and younger."

"Sir, do we know where this Cullen is?" asked Harry.

"Why, yes, I do. He is just outside the wards, and trying to breach them."

"Then what are we waiting here for? Let's go get him!" said Ron. "Go, go now, all of you," said Dumbledore.

Everyone rushes to the ward line of Hogwarts to see a sparkling pale person with thousands of tween and teen girls behind him, pounding on the ward barrier. Everyone draws their weapons and charges.

"Reducto" eight voices shout. The Ministry six plus the twins send curses at the brainwashed girls. 20 girls fall to Harry's curse alone. "Fuego" snarls Dresden, turning a row of enemies to ashes. Murphy's gun feeds pieces of lead into the army. Atticus draws Fragarach and with a druidic bellow, wades into the army, slicing and slashing. Granuaile throws her knives with extreme precision. Owen shapeshifts into a bear and leaps into action. From nowhere, a great black dog, a wolf, a stag, and a tiger jump over the Hogwarts defenders into the fray. The dog, stag, tiger, and wolf had gold teeth, claws, and antlers. In a matter of moments, the corpses of the enemy army are scattered throughout the area. Only one is left standing, Cullen himself. Deadward shouts to Harry "Harry Potter, I challenge you to duel to the death."

"I accept," said Harry.

With that Shitward rushes Harry, who merely points his wand at the pansy of a vampire and whispers "Avada Patronum", the Killing Patronus. The green stag rams into Shitward, goring him with its antlers and ending the Cullen threat forever.

The group retired back to the headmaster's office.

The wolf, stag, doe, and dog all shifted into humans once everybody reached Albus's office. "Mom, Dad, Sirius, Remus? H...How?" spluttered Harry."

"The Big Man Upstairs saw how overwhelmed you fourteen were, He sent us back to life to help out. Yes, Harry, this is permanent," said Lily answering Harry's unasked question. Harry rushed to his parents, enveloping them in the first hug he had ever initiated.

**A/N: This is merely the updated version of How to Kill a Sparkling Emo Vampire **


End file.
